The Curious Tale Home

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Season 5

The Pizza Pizza: Part 5 of The Quest for Emperor Josh
Episode 50
September 21, 2018

Our 50th episode! This week, our heroes' quest to find Emperor Joshl leads them to the Pizza Pizza, where they hope to meet with the grizzled Colonel Maelstom, who could lead them to Number One. A glorious pinball machine battle is had.

Dave's Shot: Part 4 of The Quest for Emperor Josh
Episode 49
August 31, 2018

Dave’s the one holding the gun, but Silence is holding most of the cards. Pintos and vegetarianism are discussed, disparagingly.

Death's Ambitions: Part 3 of The Quest for Emperor Josh
Episode 48
August 24, 2018

Thanatos has ideas about who should be the new Emperor, and Afiach has her hands stuck in some chewed-up gum. But things take a turn for the worse when DeLatia and the others show up with an unexpected guest in tow.

Guardpact: Part 2 of The Quest for Emperor Josh
Episode 47
August 17, 2018

Silence and DeLatia drop in on Gregor and share their quest to find Emperor Josh.

Egg Spectacular: Part 1 of The Quest for Emperor Josh
Episode 46
August 10, 2018

Emperor Josh has been missing for three years, and the whole world is falling into ruin. But what can Galavar do about it?

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Season 1

(July 2014 – July 2015)

The (Motor)Ways of the Empire
Episode 45
June 26, 2015

Why are the traffic jams so bad in Joshalonia, when Emperor Josh had promised to stop treating motorists like statistics?

The Kingdom of Zeal
Episode 44
June 12, 2015

Josh abdicates his Empire on Ice responsibilities. In his place, Afiach Bard sings a lyrical version of “Corridors of Time,” from Chrono Trigger…with a bit of inspiration from Shakespeare, and Doreen. Bowling balls! Sashimi!

Gleesy 0007 in Mookfall Birthday Boy
Episode 43
June 5, 2015

At least somebody remembered Josh's 12,000th birthday.

Episode 42
May 29, 2015

Benzan tries to figure out what imaginary numbers really mean.

J! Magazine Beach Ball Edition
Episode 41
May 22, 2015

Over at the city's Bureau of Departments, the much-anticipated J! Beach Ball Edition arrives. Let the ogling commence.

An Empire on Ice Short
Episode 40
May 15, 2015

Josh has built a two-way, two-level roundabout with reversible lanes.

The Gentlemancer
Episode 39
May 8, 2015

A rakish rogue known only as the Gentlemancer is transforming the city into a center of manners and culture. What could it all mean? And is mancy all it’s cracked up to be?

Cravatman Versus The Chiseler
Episode 38
May 1, 2015

The Chiseler has stolen 10 million Jiggities from the Joshalonian bank, and Galavar dons his secret superhero identity to go after the person he thinks is responsible: Afiach Bard.

Gorshoth the Impune
Episode 37
April 24, 2015

A vile enemy is threatening the Imperial frontier, and Josh and Silence wield left-handed martial arts to decide who’ll get to go fight and who’ll have to stay and look after the Empire. But will Grieve’s Jenga tower survive their confrontation?

Infinite Taxes
Episode 36
April 10, 2015

It's almost Tax Day in the Sovereign Empire of Greater Joshalonia, and that means it's crunch season for long-suffering tax accountant Chronus Ill Thanatos, whose afternoon is about to get a lot more interesting.

The Adventures of Passive-Aggressive Man
Episode 35
April 3, 2015

And his sidekick, Aggressive-Aggressive Boy! Will Galavar be able to check out the magazine he wants from the library?

Kidding Around
Episode 34
March 20, 2015

Josh is in a bad mood and having a hard time writing Empire on Ice, so Silence kids around with him. Get ready for a lot of bad and obvious goat puns.

Grave Black on Where the Doodly Dickens Do They Get All That Money?
Episode 33
March 13, 2015

Imperial Channel JSMRT is back with its popular documentary that looks at what the stars of After The Hero: The Motion Picture do for a living when they're not making the movie. This week, computer genius Grave Black!

Overheard at PAX J
Episode 32
March 6, 2015

Ever wonder what it’s like to go to PAX in the Sovereign Empire of Greater Joshalonia?

Galavar on Where the Doodly Dickens Do They Get All That Money?
Episode 31
February 27, 2015

Imperial Channel JSMRT runs a documentary that looks at what the stars of After The Hero: The Motion Picture do for a living when they're not making the movie. This first installment looks at Galavar, Celadon, and Diva.

The Empire on Ice Skaters
"The Cocoa No-No Caper, Part 5"

Episode 30
February 13, 2015

It's the exciting conclusion of "The Cocoa No-No Caper"! Can the Empire on Ice Skaters defeat Doctor Silence von Kablooey and her Multitronic Mangling Machine?!

The Empire on Ice Skaters
"The Cocoa No-No Caper, Part 4"

Episode 29
February 6, 2015

Doctor Silence von Kablooey reveals the full depth of her nefarious scheme and unleashes the ultimate weapon: Instead of competing in a figure-skating contest to settle their dispute, as is customary, she's got a gigantic mecha.

The Empire on Ice Skaters
"The Cocoa No-No Caper, Part 3"

Episode 28
January 30, 2015

The Empire on Ice Skaters confront a rather full-figured Doctor Silence von Kablooey and discover why she's stolen all the Valentine's Day candy in Joshalonia. It’s "The Cocoa No-No Caper, Part 3."

The Empire on Ice Skaters
"The Cocoa No-No Caper, Part 2"

Episode 27
January 23, 2015

The Empire on Ice Skaters have reached Doctor Silence von Kablooey's Tower of Treachery, but it's really, really tall. And before they can even get the chance to climb it, they’re going to have to deal with Silence’s best—and not-so-best—goons. It’s "The Cocoa No-No Caper, Part 2."

The Empire on Ice Skaters
"The Cocoa No-No Caper, Part 1"

Episode 26
January 16, 2015

It's the continuing adventures of Joshalonia’s favorite cerebral superheroes, the Empire on Ice Skaters. They're a band of justice-seeking do-gooders who solve their problems through ice skating and brilliance. But will they meet their match once and for all against the insane machinations of Doctor Silence von Kablooey?! Read and find out, in "The Cocoa No-No Caper, Part 1."

Doing Good
Episode 25
January 9, 2015

It’s the new year and everyone is doing good in their own way. Join the gang at Josh’s ritzy Club Commons Imperiale.

Dress Code, Part 1
Episode 24
January 2, 2015

Silence does battle once again with the endless ranks of faceless, disdainful producers of After The Hero: The Motion Picture.

Dress Code
An Empire on Ice Short
Episode 23
December 19, 2014

In this short lead-in to next week’s episode, we learn that Silence’s dressing room isn’t quite as well-appointed as Galavar’s, lending credence to her view that the producers of After The Hero: The Motion Picture don’t treat her as well as they treat the film’s top star.

Evil Pizza
Episode 22
December 12, 2014

The deity of Joshalonia, almighty Jaash, appears before Thanatos, and there’s only one way to get rid of him: food! But when their pizza gets delivered to the wrong address, trouble ensues.

Vomit Feast and the Lamentable Death of Eric Garner
Episode 21
December 4, 2014

Josh and Galavar discuss the fact that reality sometimes eclipses fiction for ridiculousness. Their only hope to stay ahead of real-world news is to play the vomit card. Will the Internet ever be the same after Josh fits it with a large serious of suspicious tubes?

Afiach’s Album, Part 3
Episode 20
November 28, 2014

Afiach visits Josh in hopes that he’ll listen to her new album. She finds him installing a mechanized pigeon poop machine at a friend’s house to get rid of unwanted parked cars. Will this finally be Afiach’s big chance to get someone to hear her masterful music? Featuring a surprise guest appearance by Rick Astley.

Afiach’s Album, Part 2
Episode 19
November 21, 2014

Afiach goes to visit the criminal mastermind Aroen in hopes that he’ll listen to her new musical album, but she can’t figure out which century he’s living in. Meanwhile, will Aroen’s scheme to cripple the Joshalonian Imperial rail system succeed, or will it meet with an unseemly full stop?

Afiach’s Album, Part 1
Episode 18
November 14, 2014

Afiach tries to get some of the gang to listen to her new album, but they’re too immersed in their poker game to notice she’s there. Will Grieve beat DeLatia’s all-red hand?

E-Quadruple-Flat Major
Episode 17
November 7, 2014

Josh is late with his monthly musical piece, and Afiach shows up to help him out. But when she arrives, she finds that Josh has just finished composing the greatest piece of music ever written.

J Henge
Episode 16
October 31, 2014

In this Halloween special—and the first article ever posted to—join Josh, Galavar, and Silence at the Empire’s spookiest henge for the annual Halloween carnival, which includes a tarot reading, a green ghost, and a Halloween song that sounds suspiciously like “O Canada.”

Neil deGrasse Tyson Must Die
Episode 15
October 24, 2014

Silence is upset with Josh for demoting her from “Close Friend” status on Facebook. Featuring World War III and music from The Care Bears Movie.

Empire in Space
Episode 14
October 17, 2014

In an even more alternate universe, Josh is Captain of the USS Enterprise, Scandinavians are in charge of the engine room, and everybody in Starfleet smokes weed.

Where Are We Going?
Episode 13
October 10, 2014

Somewhere in southern Canada, while taking the extra scenic route to a Los Angeles bakery, Afiach contemplates the movement of the galaxies with Gregor.

World Intercultural Sensitivity Day
Episode 12
October 3, 2014

Celeste becomes a flaming conservative to broaden her perspective on World Intercultural Sensitivity Day, and her husband Celadon has to deal with the consequences…on the same night as they’re having an actual conservative couple over for dinner.

Stupendous Burger
Episode 11
September 26, 2014

Afiach, who isn’t from around these parts, can’t understand why they make burgers as big as the one she saw on the giant billboard.

How to Give an Effective Presentation
An Empire on Ice Short
Episode 10
September 19, 2014

At the J-TED Talks, Josh explains how to give an effective presentation, which involves a gigantic mechanized bagpipe.

The Great Hillside District Chocolate Caper
Episode 9
September 12, 2014

Silence rushes into Josh’s dojo to tell him that a tanker truck full of high-pressure chocolate has crashed on Imperial Lombard Street. One of my favorite episodes from Season 1.

The Bad Mood
Episode 8
September 5, 2014

One morning at the office, Josh is in a very bad mood, so he brings in some solicitors to cheer himself up. The trap doors and dynamite are all set!

Cheese and Ice Cream
Episode 7
August 29, 2014

Josh is running late with Empire on Ice, and Galavar arrives to help him out. Meanwhile, on television, Afiach Bard’s show about traveling through the country brings her to Adelanto, California, and even she can’t put a positive spin on that.

After Work
An Empire on Ice Special
Episode 6
August 22, 2014

Join the cast of After The Hero: The Motion Picture after hours. This episode was nine years in the making! Definitely one of my favorites from Season 1.

Commercials and Other Marketing Strategies
Episode 5
August 15, 2014

The cast of After The Hero: The Motion Picture discuss a commercial for a new documentary about Thanatos on the Josh History Channel, and the discussion quickly derails. This episode is a repost of something I had written nine years earlier in my journal.

Bill Collectors
Episode 4
August 8, 2014

Chased by a dreaded collection agency airship, Captain Celeste of the Airborne Sinistral Ship Joshalonia vows to fight to the very last to ensure that the Empire never, ever pays its debts!

Galavar’s Humor
Episode 3
August 1, 2014

Galavar wonders why he doesn’t get to be in Empire on Ice more often.

The Patreon Money
Episode 2
July 25, 2014

Josh and Silence daydream about what they’ll do with all of the Patreon money that Josh is going to get from new subscribers to all the Year of 32 features. Check out those graphics!

Internet Protocol
Episode 1
July 18, 2014

In the inaugural episode of Empire on Ice, Josh, as President of the Internet, convenes a meeting on the status of the Internet economy. The Internet Cabinet just so happens to be the Guard of Galavar, with each Guard in charge of a different facet of cyberspace.

O day and night, but this is wondrous strange!